Today, I turn 30 years old. Until today, entering a new decade has been an exciting time. Who doesn’t remember when they entered their “teens”, or when suddenly they were “twenty-something”. Each step, you were suddenly “in a better place” than before.

This decade seems a little different. Instead of thinking of the bright and promising future the new decade of life would bring, I came into the thirties today reflecting on the previous years of my life; a reality-check. Have I truly done the best that I could have with everything I have done in life? What were my strengths in the previous decades? My weaknesses?

That is when I realized that I have never focused on my weaknesses in the past. It is human nature to find it painful to think of what makes us weak, vulnerable, and susceptible to pain. What is the one question that makes all interviewees squeamish? “What is your biggest weakness?”. Try not to sweat when your interviewer asks you that question.

I would argue that we can blame this pain on Darwinism and the survival of the fittest. In order to survive, we must be extremely good at some trait, then figure out how to utilize that trait in every situation that we need to “survive”.

Hopefully my thirties will be different. I hope to force myself into accepting that I am “good enough” in my core strength areas, and only limited at this point by my weaknesses. What happens when you shift focus on only improving the aspects of your life where you are weakest instead of continuing to improve where you are strongest? This decade is when I find out.

So what do I need to focus on? Read/writing has always been a weakness that I have never cared to pay attention. Selling and marketing anything have never seemed to click with me. Doing mental math; I have always been so impressed when people can do complex math operations in their head. Playing music has always been in the back of my mind, but fell into the weakness bucket.

Ouch, that was too painful to think about for a birthday, but feels great looking forward.